You laugh too much man!

Next Part

 If you love to laugh like I do, then I can imagine that sometimes you get cursed out by the people who you offend. I am working on my maturity because I find it difficult to take things seriously. I do  know that there is a time and place for everything, and somethings I do take matters seriously, such as death or illness. 

I was cursed out because....

A calculator is not a smartphone

One day, I was walking  home from work and a car pulled up to my feet. It was a very nice car with a decent  looking  male driver.  He was there chatting me up, telling me how much I looked too nice to be walking, and  how the  horse  dead and the cow fat and the same cow jumped over the moon and the dish ran away with the spoon. Essentially a bunch of lies and lame pick up lines.

 I was not interested at all, especially since I did a quick scan and noticed that there was some baby clothes and toys on the back seat. Besides I was not far from my house and I had some left over stew peas with nuff (plenty) pigtail that I was planning to go home and eat. I was not in the mood to be adult-napped that day, especially on an empty stomach. 

He told me to take his number to call him and I withdrew my calculator from my bag and was ready to take his number. Needless to say, he cursed me and called me dry foot gyal and sadmaite and how I don't know a good man and some other rude stuff. 

The hot girl and the buggu

One day, I was on my way to work. I was running late which was a normal occurrence, though not intentional. I was at the stoplight in Half way tree, right beside Tastees waiting for the  stoplight to turn green. There was a very nice professional looking 'hot girl'  with eyebrows on fleek, makeup well done, nails and hair done, the whole works. 

There was also a plump higgler lady.  I remember her because I was looking at how high her bottom was and I was wondering if someone could sit on it. She had some ackee, oranges and other ground provisions in her cart which was like a supermarket trolley. This was way before Covid-19. While we were waiting, the higgler lady sneezed and  a very big buggu (mucus)  flew from her nose directly in the hot girl face. 

I immediately started laughing while she was hysterical " get it off me , get it off me". I didn't even notice that the light had changed. I stood there with her laughing to see if she would brave up and get it off. She removed a wet wipe from her bag to remove the mucus and then she started cursing me . Her language was not professional at all. ( I am sorry nice girl, I shouldn't have laughed).

The girl who lost her shoe bottom

One other day, I was walking  to the taxi stand to get  transportation for work. There was a lovely young  lady walking a little distance before me. She was wearing a flat shoe  and I noticed that the bottom fell off. 

 Immediately a car drove up to her and stopped at her feet. I noticed she was smiling. As a good Samaritan I picked up her shoe bottom, because I figured that she would want it to either glue back her self or take it to a shoemaker. 

I reached up to her, where she was talking to the man through the car window and  said " here is your shoe bottom, it fell off while you were walking". Needless to say, she cursed me and denied that it was her shoe bottom. 

The car man drove off  while she was cursing me.  I started walking away because I am not good at tracing. She started walk-hopping after me very fast while still cursing me. Given that I knew I couldn't fight, I ran very quickly  to the bus stop and jumped on a JUTC bus that wasn't even going my direction. I reached work late again. 

Sigh!