When I was a Fool Fool Child

This random post is rather nostalgic. It reminds me of a simpler time when I was growing up in the deep rural parts of Westmoreland, Jamaica.

1. Egg in a cup
   

I was attempting to boil an egg in a plastic cup on a wooden fire.  It did not turn out well and that loud boom sound that the egg made when it got burnt in the fire, frightened my uncle and others. It resulted in my uncle who planted ganja (marijuana) at the time to be playing hop scotch hiding from the police. Back then cultivating marijuana was illegal. Needless to say, I got my ass handed to me properly. 

 

      2. What goes up must come down

I was always a weird and curious child. I threw a stone in the air to see what would happen. Well, as you can imagine, gravity happened and it fell on my forehead as I had my head in the air watching and waiting to see where the stone went. Needless to say, I got my ass thrashed for being a 'fool fool pitney' (a stupid child). Even though my forehead was bleeding and I had a coco (hematoma), I was very fool fool because the stone could have hit me in my eye and blinded me. I guess my sense of logic was not yet developed. 

 

3. Don’t tek up what you can’t manage
   

I stole a carrot flavoured lasco drink and I was hiding in nearby bushes trying to eat some of it. My uncle who was taking care of our cow Betty saw me. I was mentally prepared for my beating, however, that did not come until much later. Back then, lasco was a full pack and not half air, half powder as it is now. I was forced to eat the full bag of carrot flavoured milk powder with no water. I was crying and coughing and choking. One of my cousin attempted to knock my back while I was choking and she nearly got knocked out by my uncle.  I ate off all the lasco, got my whooping for stealing and for taking on what I couldn’t manage.  To this day, I hate anything that is carrot flavoured.

 

4.  Cheese trix beating
   

Source

 

One Sunday, I got my collection (tithes and offering) for church and I told my young clever self that my grandmother will never know. I took my collection and bought cheese trix and bag juice and a donkey corn over Mass Eugene shop and shared the cheese trix and bag juice with my cousin. I went home from church happy as a lark, singing " Jesus love the little children".  My cousin told my grandmother about my transgression, because I didn’t give her any of the donkey corn. Needless to say, I got some Rako Georges lick (Hot hot lick) with a piece of shoe black (hibiscus) stick. My young fool fool self, vowed on that day that when I grow up I was going to burn a bleach bottle and drop it on my grandmother’s bottom. (Please forgive me Lord). I love my grandmother very much, one of my favourite person.

 

5.     Afraid of fog

One evening it was overcast and there was a lot of fog. Living in a deep rural area, there was no electricity and paved roads, mostly bush and rock stone and nuff (a lot) duppy (ghost) story. On that particular evening, on our way home, my cousin and I saw Mass William who told us to hurry home because the fog will take us away. All of a sudden all I could see was thick fog and I started to cry and refused to go any further. “Mass William say the fog a go tek we way”. My cousin said “Come on man, how you so fool fool, the fog not even have hand nor foot, not even pocket, wey him a go put you in a?” It took her a while to convince me. We got home late that evening and needless to say we get a piece a buss ass.

 

 Those were the good ole days. Thank you for reading.